Poems by the New McGonagall

By Tomas Mc Rae, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, ©1988

hen I acted out the role of the World’s Best Bad Poet on the Walkways at Brisbane’s WORLD EXPO 88 I added a few poems of my own in similar genre.

Here is one I still remember.

Shark Attack

It is a hot and sunny day,

And people come from far away.

For of the heat they’ve had enough.

So they partake of sand and surf.

A watcher perched high on a tower,

Gazes through lenses of high power …

At pretty girls in scanty clothes,

Arrayed around the beach in rows.

But suddenly his face turns grave,

As a fin emerges from a wave.

He rings his bell and shouts out “Hark!

There’s gonna be a shark attack!”

Everybody flees the water,

Mother, father, son and daughter.

Children who delay are beaten.

Better that than to be eaten!

For nothing much would then remain,

Of Jack or Jill or tiny Jane.

Just lumps of flesh in bloody foam

To put in pails for transport home.

A silent shape swims up and down.

The crowd stare at it with a frown.

Skin bakes in the solar rays

As pending sunstroke them dismays.

The people at the monster peer,

And many quake with silent fear.

Even though their flesh does burn,

To the water they dare not return.

Each knows an arm or leg they’ll lack

If subject to a shark attack.

They start to turn and leave the sea,

But a small boy looks then and laughs with glee,

“It’s just a dolphin having fun!”

The crowds back to the water run

To swim and pose free from all harm.

This time it was a false alarm.